1,000 Miles
by IAmTheBadWolf315
Summary: After being gone for 16 months,Hermione Granger returns home, finally willing to put the past behind her and be with the man who was always by her side. Now, she must learn to deal with the fact that,in her absence,he moved on. HG/SB HG/RL
1. So much for my Happy ending

_AN- Ok, so this will not be updated frequently, I have First Day On A Brand NeW Planet to work on, as well as school and my trip to Mexico next month WHOOOOOO! So updates will be infrequent. On the Plus side, I finally get to right two of my favourite couples in one fic. That's right HG/RL AND HG/ SB all in one fic, neat, huh? _

_**PLEAE READ NEXT PART TO UNDERSTAND STORY**_

_**This fic is so AU after book 5 it is not even funny. Like seriously, just ignore 6 and 7 most of those two books will be trashed out the window for this fic. Ummmmm, prologue is confusing, kinda, just go with it. It will make sense…….eventually. I'll try to put chapter one up by the end of the week…..I hope……**_

_**Peace out,**_

_**CHAYLA**_

_Looking back, I have this to regret, that too often when I loved, I did not say so. _

_David Grayson _

_PROLOGUE AUGUST 10__th_

"Did any of it ever matter to you at all, even one damn minute of it?" She yelled out at him, her voice ringing with anger and…hurt. " 'Mione…" he started, but she cut him off quickly. "No, obviously, it didn't. I saw you and her together, don't try to deny it."

"I wasn't going to deny it." He said quietly. He sank down into a chair looking suddenly weary. "You were gone for over a year 'Mione. You didn't call, you didn't leave a number." He looked suddenly angry. "Sixteen months Hermione, and not one bloody letter. Do you know how worried I was, how worried we all were?"

She started at him coldly for a moment before breaking down. Once the tears started pouring, there was no stopping them. "You promised." She whispered. He looked up at her, unsure of what she had said. "You promised.' She said her words louder than before. "Before I left you swore that you would be here waiting for me. That you understood that I needed time to sort things out, that you understood."

He made a move to speak but, once again, her voice silenced him. "I can't believe I was foolish enough to trust you." She shook her head. "I should have known better than to believe in happy endings."

She was just about to walk out of the room when he called out her name. "Hermione." She stopped dead in her tracks. He never called her that, ever. Oh maybe he had once, years ago but in all the time they were together, he had only called her by her full name once before…

Her eyes were sparkling with tears. "Don't," she said, as he stepped closer to her. "This… this is something you can't fix….." She took a deep breath. For the past three years, this man had been everything to her. He had been the one that protected her, saved her from everything, even herself. Now, suddenly, she was going to have to survive without the reassurance of his presence. The though terrified her.

They stood looking at each other for a few more seconds before she turned and fled the room. For them, there could never be fairy -tale ending, no such thing as happily ever after, it just was not meant to be.

Remus Lupin stared at the door long after Hermione had exited. He sighed. In all honesty, he had never expected her to come back after she left England over a year ago. He thought she was gone for good. Oh yes, she had promised to return and he had promised to wait, but in his heart or hearts he knew that she was gone, that she had left him for good, that he had been her comfort--her solance-- while she had needed him and now she was going to finally move on.

He had knew this, felt it with a burning certainty, and yet, here she was, she had been in front of him just moments ago. And so, into his mind, the question entered. Why was she back?


	2. Death Be Not Proud

CHAPTER 1

_three years and four months previously_

_Death be not proud, though some have called thee Mighty and dreadfull, for thou art not so, For, those, whom thou thinkst, thou dost overthrow, die not, poor death, nor yet canst thou kill me. _

_John Donne _

The only noise that could be heard was the sound of a girl's sobs echoing off the walls of the stone castle. Hermione had never felt so lost in her life. _Dead. _It was final, he was gone, ashes to ashes, dust to dust. He would never kiss her again, never give her one of those smirks that were on his face whenever he was breaking the rules and she was given him silent repreimend, never again would he stare up at her with those beautiful chocolate puppy dog eyes.

_Nevermore. _ She thought thinking back to the Poe poem that had long been a favourite of hers. He had read the poem to her once when they had had one of their brief moments alone together. He had never been a fan of Poe's work- he felt there was enough horrors in life to have to imagine more- and yet, he said the poem drew him in somehow, as though it was enchanted.

Hermione had always believed that he only said that because he knew that was her favourite poem; but she never said anything. If he was lying to her about liking the poem well… it was sweet.

That thought just made her cry harder. _Dead _it was so final. So not him. She half expected Sirius to jump out from behind her curtains at anytime and yell boo! It was be so like him to pull a stunt like that, make everyone mourn for him, think him dead when he was so very much alive. He would show up with that Know -It-All grin and say. "Miss me Mione?" or "I never knew you all cared." and she would yell at him, and curse ever saving him from the Dementors, and then he would whine and pout, and he would kiss her, and she would forgive him and they would go back to how it had been before.

"Damn it Sirius." she cursed under her breath, "Why did you do it?" You didn't have to fight Bella, didn't have to play the hero. Fuck it, you didn't have to die." But in the back of her mind, she knew he really did have to. He wouldn't have been Sirius if he didn't, he wouldn't have been the beautiful, reckless, wonderful idiot of a man that she had fell in love with.


	3. Anything else under Heaven

AN/ Ok gonna clear up some confusion. The first chapter/ prologue takes place quite sometimes after the second chapter. The second chapter as well as this one takes place at the end of the trio's 5th year after the ministry incident. Chapter one is three years into the future and it basically jumps back and forth. So yeah……… I've never really done this technique before. Anywhoo, have fun with this.

_Love him and let him love you. Do you think anything else under heaven really matters?_

_ James A. Baldwin _

Hermione lay on her bed in St. Mungo's. Apparently, the brains had done a lot more damage to her then the healers had thought. She wasn't eating, barley got out of bed, and spoke nor more than a few words when friends came in to see her.

The healers had no explanation for this. The other involved were healer quite nicely, Hermione… it was a mystery.

She, of course, knew why she wasn't getting better. It was a simply case of mind over matter. She didn't want to get better. She didn't want to eat, didn't want to get up and get back to living, didn't wish to participate in the mindless chitchat of her friends. She simply wanted to die.

---------------------------------------------

She laughed hollowly. For the past few months, all she had wanted to do was live. Live for her family, her friends, him. Now, he was gone, and soon, she hoped, she would be as well.

She hadn't always been this way. She was never the typed go crazy over a boy; she was the one who laughed at girls that were willing to give up everything for one guy,. She never thought that a day would come when she would count herself among them.

Oh, she had dreamed of falling in love one day, of marriage, and perhaps children. But, even in her daydreams, her relationships were… practical. Her spouse would be within 5 to eight years of her age range, have a decent job, and share similar interest and goals in life. Of course, nothing ever works out as planed.

_The best laid plans…_

She had never planed on falling for a convicted--albeit falsely-- convict, who was twenty years her senior. And certainly, certainly not a _Jobless_ convicted convict without a--pardon the pun-- _serious_ bone in his body, who was constantly putting himself--and others-- in danger. As for intellect,… his lack of interest in the pursuit of knowledge had been a source of constant displeasure for her. For him, the endless arguments on the subject of her excessive studying gave him a strange sort of amusement to fill the otherwise dull hours.

She supposed that was how it all began really. This strange sort of love affair.

_Was it really love?_

She knew that for her it was, and she was certain he had felt the same, though neither of them had ever spoke the words. She wished she had said them now.

Yet, she wondered what his reaction would have been. Would he have laughed if off with a joke. "How could you love an old dog like me, 'mione?" Would he have broke off their… whatever it was? Would he have responded in the same manner? It didn't matter what his answer would have been, she still wished she had said it.

Now, she couldn't. Oh, she could say the words, but there was no guarantee that he could hear her say it from where he was.

She remembered kissing him, stolen clandestine kisses, snuck ever so secretly, hidden from Molly Weasley's watchful eyes. She remembered making love to him, sneaking up to his rooms in the sultry summer nights, and later stealing brief moments over the holidays. She had felt selfish then, taking away any time he could have spent with Harry. Now, she would give anything for another night with him.

Oh, she supposed she was naïve in a way, thinking that first loves could last forever; and surly, deep down, she knew it would one day end, but not here, not now, not like this. He was supposed to be cleared, be able to live his life, to pick up where he had left off all those years ago. He was supposed to be able to be the God-father to Harry he was always meant to be, live go out, be treated as a man again instead of some criminal.

Then, then perhaps it would have been ok for her to lose him. Surly then he might have found a prettier girl, one more worthy of him. Had she lost him to another woman, that would have been ok, another woman could have won him from her, death merely took him.


End file.
